As It Is In Heaven

[Anthony David:]
I believe that
Heaven must be like this
Ray of sunshine
Kissed upon your skin
Just say you love me
Make my day go good
Pot of gold at the
End of the rainbow

On earth as it is in heaven is more than just a Bible verse. Just when I was beginning to be fooled into thinking that my life was meant to be mediocre - black and white - a life without color, our eyes met. In that very moment my imagination and my reality fused into one.


Can't tell you nothin you aint already heard
No matter what I say it's nothin but words
Just let me prove to you what I know is real
Let me express to you the way that I feel

On earth, as it is in heaven is more just than a Bible verse. Ever since you entered my heart, I feel as though my description of past loves were exaggerated metaphors for what is my concrete reality with you. I can't find the right combinations of consonants and vowels to describe the urgency that consumes me. Instead, I'll place my heart in your hands so that your soul can feel its rhythm.

[India:]
I believe that
Love is synonymous
With heaven
Such a sensual bliss
The way you touch me
Makes this life so good
A reward at the
End of the long road


On earth, as it is in heaven is more that just a Bible verse. I find myself understanding that this is what people say inspires creative genius - poetry, lyrics, melodies - all a futile attempt to capture in immortality what is intangible - LOVE. I will gladly relive every heartbreak, every romantic deception, every night of overwhelming despair if that path eventually leads me to you.



Can't tell you nothin you aint already heard
No matter what I say it's nothin but words
Just let me prove to you what I know is real
Let me express to you the way that I feel

On earth, as it is in heaven is more than just a Bible verse. I keep finding myself searching books from cover to cover, looking for characters, plots, descriptions... Reaching into the universe to find some being, some kindred spirit that can relate to the ecstasy and ease that I feel when in your presence. But who can adequately describe the indescribable?


[Anthony David:]
Fairy tales can be
Real if you just believe
Go my mind made
I don't plan to leave
Cuz you were meant for me
Simple that may be
Why be complex
Loving you is so easy

On earth, as it is in heaven is more than just a Bible verse. Complicated melodies are now faded notes as our spirits blend into a seamless symphony. I am still in awe by how natural and simple just BEING with you is. My God. What took us so long?


~Muzikal inspiration courtesy of Anthony David featuring India.Arie (Words)~

Rather Be

I'm tired of broken street glass
Not gettin' no ass...
Unless the baby's sleep
But even then it seems like we're tryin' to creep...

5:30 AM

He hears the alarm go off - another day - another dead end. He listens to her breathe - he wants to reach out to her - touch her...but he lays frozen in place. Everything seems so complicated now...life.

The years he looked forward to with her from the day they took their vows now feel almost like a sentence...life.

Tired of payin' taxes,
sendin' e-mails and faxes
Tired of crooked cops
Tired of black folk complainin' that crime don't stop...

He thinks about the things he needs to do today. They're all depending upon him - his wife, his newborn - his son. He closes his eyes...

I wanna go to a place where lovers go
Do the things that lovers do
No stress... A sweet caress from me to you...
I wanna do the things we used to do
Say the things we used to say
Just lay...everyday, all day

He remembers how back in the old days they used to call in sick sometimes for no reason at all. The alarm would go off at 5:30 and they'd open one sleepy eye and snuggle closer.

Far away from here
Far away from here
Far away from here
Just jump in a taxi cab, pack our bag and get away fast

Far away from here
Far away from here
Far away from here
Just jump in a taxi cab, pack our bag and get away fast

Now they roll out of bed each morning, sluggishly attending to their own separate routines. Where had they gone wrong?

Tired of late subway trains
Tired of undeserved fame
Tired of watchin' somethin' on the T.V. doin' nothin'

5:30 AM

She feels him move beside her. She wants to roll over and snuggle into him - bury herself in his scent, but she feels sad. She used to wake up in his arms - now they sleep on separate ends of the mattress. She doesn't know when that began.

Maybe it's the stress of their new family - unexpected financial burdens - unresolved issues between he and she. Still, she misses the comfort of his scent.

I'd rather be lookin' at ya
I'd rather be layin' with ya
I don't wanna forget
All the love we captured the day we met...

She remembers how he used to look at her - how he used to smile unexpectedly in her direction - for no reason other than she was there. She wishes he didn't have to leave for work so soon, but she doesn't move because she doesn't want them to be late.

I wanna go to a place where lovers go
Do the things that lovers do
No stress... A sweet caress from me to you
I wanna do the things we used to do
Say the things we used to say
Just lay...everyday, all day

She remembers how those "sick" days were like a vacation for the two of them. They'd lie in bed together, insulated from the world. Sleeping, sexing and sleeping some more. They'd re-enter the "real world" the next day rejuvenated and ready to tackle their next challenge together.

Where had they gone wrong?

Far away from here
Far away from here
Far away from here
Just jump in a taxi cab, pack our bag and get away fast

Far away from here
Far away from here
Far away from here

Just jump in a taxi cab, pack our bag and get away fast...

5:45 AM

He and she turn towards one another and whisper simultaneously, "You wanna call in?"

Muzikal inspiration courtesy of Kindred The Family Soul (Far Away)

From the Bondage

...Of Those Who Never Loved Me....

I'm gonna preface this by saying, "This journal entry ain't shyt. These lyrics...these feelings...ain't shyt". I'm still having a pity party....proceed...

Shoulda known, when I looked into those eyes that,
I was going to be free
From the bondage of those who never loved me
And I shoulda known, when he simply touched my hand, he would understand
All of my wants and all of my needs
You were sent alone to love me

Dear Heavenly Father.

Here's another "healing" journal entry...to hopefully heal me...but of course through the drinks and the drugs, the honesty will begin to flow...

Ain’t nothing but love (that what it is)
And it gets sweeter and sweeter
Like heaven on earth
Won’t you just give me more and more

I was born with huge dreams and aspirations for "love"...the verb...and all that it was supposed to be. I waited for the fairytale...and envisioned my sons personifying it - modeling it after their father...yet, here I sit...hungover...on the toilet...waiting to SHYT...as anticipatory a concept as waiting for love...the verb has become...but at least I know that THE SHYT has no place else to go...which is much more than I can say for "love"....

You love me baby winter, spring, summer and fall
And it’s like I’m blinded
I see no one but you at all

Just the sound of your voices give me
Chills up my spine ya ooo it thrill me when
You love me all night

Your lips speak to me in a language I never knew ooo,
But oh how I understand your heart
When it feels the love from you [HOOK]

HA!!! The "hook". What an apropos term...all of those lyrics personified...I wish that I weren't so easily consumed...so easily fooled...so easily manipulated...so easily drawn in.

I remember writing so long ago in my journal about a "wait" period from all these men - yet, I failed to heed that personal directive. I find myself trying to re-live those moments, so that I can have a re-do. Dear, God. I don't WANT to be bitter. But if this is the only haven that I have in order to be REAL...TRUE to myself...no holds barred...then DAMMIT, it is what it is. "Ain't Nuthin' But Love?" What about those of us who are left feeling, "Ain't Love But Nuthin'?"????????



~Muzikal inspiration courtesy of Vivian Green (Nothing But Love)~